One Year On
I think there is a point in every battle, when we become so exhausted that we wonder if we can go on.
Today is International Women’s Day.
One year ago, I launched The Bird Girls project on social media.
Over the past twelve months I have been drawing what feels like a never ending stream of portraits honouring the lives of women lost by acts of violence. As a result I have had countless heartfelt, passionate, and incredibly important conversations with men and women alike. It has been surprising, inspiring, draining, and wonderfully heartening.
But right now, I am struggling to know what to write.
I. Am. Tired.
I am tired of drawing (though now I have a final number to work towards).
I am tired of feeling like our world is moving backwards instead of forwards.
I am tired of having to explain the fundamental inequalities in our society that correlate directly with domestic violence.
I am tired of pointing out the most basic flaws in our systems and social structures that discriminate against women.
I am tired of being called an extremist for pointing these things out.
I am tired of condescending people who try to defend their appalling and aggravating behaviour.
I am tired of those who pretend they are pro women’s rights, but are really just looking for the kudos and aren’t prepared to follow through with the necessary changes.
I am tired of anti-feminists.
I am tired of the excuse that people are from “a generation that doesn’t know better”.
I am tired of the ‘rebellious’ movement in our generation against feminism.
I am tired of having passionate, inspiring conversations that are so full of promise, but go nowhere.
I am tired of token days where people feel they have ‘done their bit’ for a cause, and therefore don’t have to think about it again for another year.
I am tired of hearing horrific stories about violence against women that could have been avoided.
I am tired of politely listening to mansplaining.
I am tired of our barren political landscape.
I am tired of hearing people awkwardly laugh at sexist jokes.
I am tired of being asked if I’m going to have children.
(and being told I will regret it if I don’t, as if that is the only thing that can qualify my existence)
I am tired of wondering if people are right about this.
I am tired of male dominated industries.
I am tired of wondering if the street I parked my car on is too dark.
I am tired of gender divided toy store aisles.
I am tired of the surprise and awe that surrounds a woman’s success.
I am tired of paying taxes on tampons.
I am tired of hearing ‘slut’, ‘bitch’ and ‘hoe’ used as supposed terms of endearment.
I am tired of the insinuation that because I believe in gender equality, I am unreasonable, angry, radical. (Angry - yes. Unreasonable - no. I don’t believe demanding equal pay is all that radical.)
I am tired of having to make noise about what seems like an issue from the dark ages.
I am tired of constantly having to break the silence.
I don’t believe for a second that I am the only one experiencing this exhaustion. And I know for certain I am not alone in this fight. The wonderful thing about days like International Women’s Day, is that it reminds those of us who are exhausted that there are comrades who stand and fight alongside us. That there is a history of brave and determined people who fought for the rights we take for granted now. And, as is so often the case, from these terrible injustices, amazing courage and achievement arises. Tiny beacons of hope that should be celebrated, and carry us on to strive for better things. I am constantly in awe of the incredible women (and men) who challenge the stereotypes presented by our society, and are so deeply engrained in our existence that often we don’t even recognise them.
These are the stories I am looking forward to this International Women’s Day.
The stories that keep us going, when the going gets tough. The incredible achievements of those who overcome all odds, the stoic and constant work of those dedicated to change, the unwavering hope of those who demand a better future.
In many respects, 2016 was a year of disappointment and horror, however I felt a great sense of hope, warmth and pride when I stumbled across a BuzzFeed article celebrating women’s achievements.
Do take the time to read it, it will only take you a minute, but hopefully it will feed you in a way that replenishes your determination, strength, and energy.
How can I be tired when these great things are happening?
While there is still so much work to be done, it is important to take a moment to celebrate what has been achieved.
Fight the good fight with integrity and bravery.
Be innovative and imaginative.
Don’t settle for less. That is not how fundamental change happens.
